Three months ago my life was in crisis.

My partner of five years had moved out and left me for a younger woman. For the two years prior to this I had been suffering from a depression that wouldn’t lift. Everything felt heavy and tiring and disconnected. I took medication, went for counseling, changed my diet and began exercising and still the dark clouds stubbornly remained. I contemplated suicide only because I was suffering with so much torment. Luckily, there were people (and a lovely loving dog) in my life who needed me and so I stayed alive for them, but not for me.

In this black haze I came across two pieces of writing that gave me the motivation to live and to live with purpose. The first piece of writing was Tracey Emin’s autobiography Strangeland which I found on sale for €2 in a socialist worker’s bookshop. I found the second piece of writing on the Facebook wall of the lecturer who had supervised my university MA. It was called The Holstee Manifesto. Being attracted to any grouping of words that inspire a positive outlook I read it, fell in love with it, printed it out and began to share it with those close to me, many of whom asked me for a copy. And so I began making copies and giving them out, and it always heartened me to call over to a family member or friend’s household to find they had The Holstee Manifesto hanging up somewhere in the household; on the fridge door, the bathroom mirror, the bedside wall, above their desk. Something about this manifesto spoke to me and the people in my life in a very direct way. There was no pussy-footing about. It was clear and gave instructions; DO, CHANGE, QUIT, STOP, START, APPRECIATE, OPEN, ASK, TRAVEL, SEIZE, START, LIVE, SHARE.

Three months ago, I took The Holstee Manifesto and Tracey Emin’s Strangeland back to bed with me and by the time I next left my bed, something had awoken in my consciousness; a need to express myself in ways I hadn’t contemplated before. Up until then I had mainly worked as a journalist and writer. I had one non-fiction book published and had half-written various plays and books that never made it to fruition due to my depression or just plain laziness.

Words have always been important to me. I always find it incredible that just looking at the word EXCITEMENT or COSY can make me feel just that; excited or cosy, if only for a short time. And so I knew that while my new need or my previous untapped need to express myself in new ways would include the use of language, I also knew it wouldn’t be through the structured rhythms of writing I was accustomed to when writing for newspapers and magazines.

But what is it I wanted to communicate? The answer to this was written on the forlorn faces of the people I queued with in the rain every month at the dole office. Cork, being the largest county in Ireland, has been badly hit by the recession over the past few years. Teenagers morosely make their way from their school line to the social welfare line where they watch older generations, disenchanted with political and religious scandals, grimly accept their unfair fate. It’s said that in every recession, two areas of industry prosper; organised crime and entertainment, both of which often overlap. Entertainment is a form of escapism; something to soothe the panicked minds of the masses. And Irish people are great at escapism; which is probably why there have been so many literary greats born or bred in this country. However escapism doesn’t solve problems, only avoids them so I wanted to work on projects that would cut into the reality of people’s lives and offer them positive words of wisdom for the real world. I wanted to say - be grateful for what you have, try find the positive in every situation, keep your head up, do or learn something new.

I started with a project called Affirmative Elephants. Over the years I had collected 55 different types of elephant ornaments from my travels or as gifts. I paired each of these elephants with a Louise L. Hay positive affirmation card, and began leaving these at random locations throughout my home town. My hope was that whoever would come across these Affirmative Elephants would feel like they had been given a gift, and that maybe someone might be having a hard time but upon finding the Affirmative Elephant would be lifted out of their burdens for a moment.
Looking and being inspired daily by The Holstee Manifesto that hung on the wall beside my bed I decided my next project would be to print 101 copies of this, laminate them (to prevent rain damage…it rains all the time in Cork!) and hang them up at random locations throughout Cork city. Accompanied by my lovely dog Roxy and my grumpy 9 year old cousin Cian, the three of use took to the streets armed with 101 Holstee Manifesto’s and two rolls of sticky tape. I hung up Manifesto’s on bus stops, school gates, park bench’s, lamp posts and every other available surface. I called into grocery shops and hairdressers and asked if they would stick one up to inspire people. I put some through random letter boxes and handed others to people on the street. I handed one to a tall forlorn French man on a bridge and he gave me a hug. I handed one to a hairy busker who put it in his guitar case. I handed three to three art students who kept repeating the word ‘amazing’ while reading it. One woman I handed it to looked at the word ‘LIFE’ in large lettering and assumed it was something to do with the pro-life movement so shoved it back in my face. I eventually persuaded her that it was pro-life, but not in the way she thought.

I’m a quiet person who avoids crowds, public spaces and talking to strangers at all costs. However, my enthusiasm to spread the word of the Holstee Manifesto gave me enough courage to do all three with gusto. I know now that one sure way out of apathy and inaction is to take action; to DO, CHANGE, QUIT, STOP, START, APPRECIATE, OPEN, ASK, TRAVEL, SEIZE, START, LIVE, SHARE.